Itches

'Itches' is a film I created with a second year student during the last half of my final year at Sheffield Hallam University, (Jan - May 2010) I wanted to find a way of working where I could liberate myself on a larger scale. My way of working (in drawing) is a very delicate and confined process, and although this is a productive way of expressing/ridding my fears and anxieties, I needed to find another way of working where I could liberate these fears, as well as aiming to touch on the erotic,
intimacy and nature. 

Making the film was a mentally and physically challenging experience, and I couldn't have dont it alone. I felt extremely lucky to have met someone like Tobias Gill, a fellow artist, who was an open, honest, passionate and energetic person to work with. From the beginning we discussed ideas and thoughts together, and made short storyboards to prepare for the filming. When we began filming I was very nervous but highly stimulated, I knew that I had to put myself in fearful situations (doing something that frightened me or made me anxious) in order to overcome fear. For example, getting naked for the first time in front of a stranger and a camera in the woods, out in the open world, amongst nature. I put myself outside of my comfort zone, and in doing so I learned that being in fearful, anxious and intense situations makes you realise you are alive. 

The film took just over 3 months to make, including the editing. Editing the film was a fun process, and I felt that I needed to do it alone. We started editing together but because the film was more about myself and made for my final university project, we decided that it would be necessary for me to do it by myself. It was tricky and very stressful at times, but I did thoroughly enjoy it. I think that I edited the film mostly subconsciously, which was quite important I think, and I was really pleased with what I had created in the end.

I was quite sensitive to the fact that the film was going to be exhibited in my final degree show, the film is an intimate insight into myself, which you could say is quite self indulgent, but I think it is important to know ourselves, to know who we are, and to explore and free ourselves. I didn't just want to do this for me, I wanted to somehow touch people somewhere that is not seen, that part of ourselves that is not noticeable or explainable, the part of ourselves that we don't even know but that part of ourselves that we can feel (?)

I felt great support and inspiration from my tutor Hester Reeve, who also gave me the harsh push that I needed, her voice and opinion was of true importance.

I don't know if the film was viewed by a lot of people but it was lovely to hear what a few of the people that did see it, thought about it and how it made them feel, different for everyone I think. The film is ambiguous and possibly unanswered which leaves it open.

I am very eager to propose the film and have it exhibited again, shown in a more intimate space as the space I had in the degree show wasn't ideal.

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