Firework

The other night I went to see the film 'Rust and Bone' - a French film with English subtitles.

A beautiful story of a man and woman who come together through their traumatic experiences.

I was utterly transfixed and absorbed, it was a very real film that triggered on raw, human emotion.

Some scenes are quite upsetting, some scenes are beautiful, tragic, erotic, brutal - and yet they all worked so well together in the film. The emotions the actors portrayed and carried on their faces throughout this film was beautifully strong yet tender, and they delivered them truly. I probably could have watched this film without the subtitles and would still have been as transfixed. I was in awe, from the very beginning to the end, and I left the cinema feeling deeply touched and inspired. This is what I love about films, and this is why I only treat myself to watch them every once in a while, I watch films to feel something, to feel inspired and motivated, and when films like this come along, films that make me tingle from the inside out, I can't help but write about it and share it with others. I would say that you should go and see this film, but whenever someone tells me this about films, I can't help but be put off by it straight away, not all of us get the same feelings from a film, we each take away something different, we each have different view points and we each have different perspectives on reality. So, I will share with you what I took away with me from the film.

For the last few weeks I've been aware that I have been suppressing some of my emotions, not dealing with things that have been niggling away at me; over thinking and even rushing a little in my everyday tasks, and I've also abandoned my writing, I still write every day, but have taken a back seat in how much I'm writing; taken a back seat on myself; emotionally neglecting myself in a way. Some of this has been necessary, but only to an extent, as now when I find myself becoming agitated and restless, I know that I need to draw inwards and find out what's causing me to act this way, instead of taking a back seat and ignoring it, I need to get back on the steering wheel.

In taking a step back from my writing, thinking that it would calm my mind, I actually became more over thought and more agitated. By not recognising how I was really feeling, through my writing, or being aware of my mental patterns, I struggled to digest new emotions/feelings/thoughts on top of new ones that I still hadn't properly digested, I had swallowed myself but I was stuck - mentally constipated - and I needed to shift my excess waste in order to make room for the new.

After watching this film I unleashed this awareness and began writing again, getting back on track with my awareness and mental and emotional state. I beckoned my being and she recognised me, without no questioning or need for reasoning. 

She is me and I am She.

The relationship between the two in this film was honest and beautiful, their paths coming together at first as friends, with their attraction for one another gradually blossoming, at first without them consciously knowing. Their relationship together was beautiful and honest as together they dealt with their own emotional obstacles and traumas that were at first caging them from life and from their own realities. In being there for one another, each of them being a strong back bone and inspiration to one another; accepting their flaws and all, they then recognised their own back bone and became an inspiration to themselves.

I realised, after watching this film, that in order to make room for a mutual merging of male and female, we must at first recognise and learn to shift whatever fears and obstacles reside within us, whether doing that together, or alone, but in doing so with true devotion to yourself always.

Every tingle in my heart was touched by this film, and there was also a song that played in the film that really touched me and left me wanting to skip out of the cinema, a song by an artist I've never really listened to before, but this song, her words and her voice made me want to sing as I skipped back home...the song 'Firework' by Katy Perry. I would say you should listen to this song, but whenever someone tells me this about a song, the feeling is never quite the same. For my reality is a different view from yours...

She kissed my eyes

She got candy eyes

Take me to the skies

x