Thursday, 31 May 2012


He was like a ray of sunshine in my heavy heart

Where did he tremble to?
He remembers the rain
He remembers her skin
He remembers her crying
She never gave in
But he gave up
way too easily
And slept through her fire
He remembers the day all too clearly
Vividly haunting him in his restless hours
He remembered everything
But he never remembered me


The bed rolled her knickers right up
She remembered his tender touch
It was never enough
She never realised it was never enough
But he could feel it
And it hurt
It hurt until it boiled his veins

A love that began so sweetly
That tasted so pure
Now ends in contented confusion
They were both never really sure


I never saw my eye
I never found it
Until I sucked myself

Her heart never beat the same

Maybe sweat released her inner self
Bound by an inward breath

She found her heart
Clenched between her teeth
Lips coated in juices
Above a restless tongue
And in there lye
Knitting neatly
Was her own eye
As she sang
Oh so sweetly
''They never found the needles
They never found the needles.''

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Night #1 - 20.04.12

I felt contented after seeing this film.
I felt content and I didn't feel alone, I found that I wasn't alone because the characters in the film were just as alone and lonely as I felt, both of them attracted to their darkness, always in search of it.
At the beginning of the film I felt a little sick, the sex scene made me uneasy, from start to finish. I had flashbacks of lovers I'd been with, the sex seemed so disconnected and lost, the two lovers not really sure what they're looking for, just fucking for the sake of it, because they're lost, lonely.
As the film opened up, and the two got to know each other throughout the night, personally and emotionally, it then became beautiful to me. The truth in them seeped out, their feelings and bodies both raw and honest.
It's a little sad to me that in reality we feel that we can just discard someone as quickly as we can just sleep with them, to ignore or pretend that person/moment never existed or happened; maybe for acting on impulse, then feeling regret or shame for having acted so primitively.
But if we opened up and became our true selves, openly and intimately, even with a stranger, maybe we wouldn't feel the shame or guilt that comes as soon as we're back 'in reality' - if we didn't shut ourselves off from reality when fucking, if we didn't become unconscious, then maybe we wouldn't feel these emotions that society makes us feel, or indeed, that we pressure ourselves to feel.
What are we looking for when we fuck someone, when we seek out a stranger to have sex with? I think we're searching for a part of ourselves, because only through another can we discover something in ourselves, whether it be through talking or fucking - through communication - sexual communication.
In the film she said: ''I wanted you to see something in me that I couldn't.''
I remember that he once did, he saw something in me that I could only feel. Something real.
Only through another can we taste the scent of ourselves.
I taste myself through you.
I'm lost until I'm tasted.
I'll taste myself to death.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012


It's me you can't disguise
Under a red ribboned tongue
I live within your blood
Smooth my skin to a milky touch
The moon it rose and it rises
In a pale purpled sky

My flesh, my bones, my soul, my spirit - is woman